What was Lost
At the chime that signaled the end of the class, a certain male student, Kogami, gave the command to stand up. He was elected as the class representative this semester. Rubbing his drowsy eyes, Jyuu obeyed and watched as the classical teacher in charge of the sixth period left the classroom.
The change of semester came with the rotation of seats, but Jyuu’s position remained the same. He was seated at the back by the window. Although he had become noticeably compliant lately, those around him treated him pretty much the same as they did before. And now that he’d lost his most important conversation partner due to the incident before the summer break, there were days when he barely spoke at school.
Well, it’s fine. It’s not that lonely.
After listening to what his homeroom teacher had to say, Jyuu grabbed his bag and left the classroom. Unlike before, his bag didn’t weigh like paper. He’d started packing his notebooks and textbooks, perhaps as a courtesy to Fujishima Kanako, his former class representative.
Back then, she used to chide him a lot.
If she saw how pliant Jyuu was nowadays, she might get angry again.
Jyuu met up with Ame at the shoe cupboard and went home from school as usual.
Even though Ame was lugging his VCR around yesterday, she didn’t seem the slightest bit tired.
On the outside, she may appear like a petite, fair-skinned girl with slender limbs, but she was actually powerful.
Although midsummer had passed, the hot days went on, and the heat didn’t let up even when it was after school.
Abnormal weather has become an annual occurrence. Jyuu walked alongside Ame, basking in the intense sunlight.
“It’s not wrong for someone to seek help from something. If anything, it’s better than refusing to ask for help when facing an issue that is beyond your capability, and succumbing to it. At the same time, when it comes to peace of mind, everyone has a different idea as to what it constitutes, so there’s no single correct way to do it. Therefore, I believe that there’s value in the existence of religions that provide salvation to a large number of unspecified people, along with the rationale that allows them to forget their suffering. It’s a very well-made system.”
Such was Ame’s view of religion.
Last night, on TV, Jyuu watched ‘True Story! 24 Hours of Religious Debate’ and vaguely mentioned it to Ame. She proceeded to lay out her thoughts seriously.
Jyuu liked that aspect of her.
“So, you don’t believe in God?”
“I do.”
Ame went on explaining to Jyuu, who looked skeptical.
“Only humans believe in God. If we don’t, it’s pitiful for God, you know.”
“...I see.”
Or should he say such an Ame-like nonsense?
Lately, listening to Ame’s bizarre stories has become a little more enjoyable. Sometimes, her story gave shape to what had been blurry in his mind. Then, she’d ask back—not forcefully, but modestly. ‘What do you think about this?’
Even that had become a bit more familiar to him.
...Well, if he didn’t bring up such topics, she might start talking about their previous lives again, so it was some kind of distraction.
An incident that happened the other day was being reported on a large TV set in front of an electronics store. After being expelled, several male students retaliated and occupied their high school with guns. Six students and two police officers were killed or injured in the incident. When they realized that they were completely surrounded, the perpetrators surrendered easily. They also didn’t forget to strike a victory pose in front of the cameras, seemingly without any sense of guilt.
Jyuu watched on TV how lawyers who made it their purpose to protect juveniles gathered together and said they’d do everything in their power to protect them.
The male students obtained firearms from overseas through online shopping. The parts were disassembled and sent in several boxes, and they assembled them while referring to the enclosed instructions. The price was less than 10.000 Yen, so even a child could easily buy it.
A group of elementary schoolers carrying school bags ran past them. Just like Jyuu, they were talking about manga with a mobile game in hand. Apparently, that part of him hadn’t changed from when he was a child.
Then what actually changes?
Modern society, which seems to be deteriorating day by day, may be changing invisible parts of humans.
“Do you like the current society?”
“I do.”
“Even though crime is increasing so much?”
Not only juvenile crimes, but violent crimes committed by abnormal individuals were on the rise. Jyuu, who was involved in one of them before the summer break, couldn’t help but worry about how twisted the society was. Recently, there have even been many cases of disappearances.
A society where anyone could be involved in a heinous crime at any given time.
So, how could Ame say that she likes such a society?
“Crime has nothing to do with likes and dislikes. Even if a society never commits a single crime, there will always be people who dislike it.”
“Then what do you like about today’s society?”
“Mostly because Jyuu-sama is in it.”
She said it so casually that Jyuu was speechless.
What, and how did she reach that conclusion?
For the time being, Jyuu decided to shift the topic.
“I don’t really like the current society.”
“Is that so?”
“I liked it more when I was a kid. I thought society was somewhat better back in the day.”
“The good old days are only in our memories. That’s why they are beautiful.”
Perhaps, Jyuu thought to himself. He wondered if the time he spent with this girl would become good memories someday.
At that time, to whom would he share those memories?
“Come to think of it, wasn’t there something odd about Yukihime yesterday?”
“What do you mean?”
“The way her personality shifted when she held a knife was something else.”
“...Did you witness that? Jyuu-sama, were you hurt anywhere?”
“Luckily, I’m unharmed.”
“My apologies. Next time, I’ll be sure to warn her. If she poses a threat to Jyuu-sama, there will be no mercy.”
“No, I didn’t mean that...”
When he saw that Ame looked sincerely remorseful, Jyuu scratched his head in annoyance.
“Has she always been like that?”
“Yes, for a long time.”
“Does she have a split personality?”
“It’s similar to how a cat behaves. Yukihime is a knife lover.”
According to Ame, Yukihime seemed to be extremely fond of knives. When it came to big things, she liked axes and Japanese swords. As for small things, she liked scissors and bayonets. Apparently, when she was in middle school, she got into a lot of trouble because of her preferences.
Ame didn’t elaborate any further. Not like Jyuu wanted to know more.
He didn’t think Yukihime was a bad person, but perhaps it’d be safer if he kept his distance as some kind of risk management. Even now, he had a weird person next to him.
Although, he doubted they’d ever get the chance to meet again.
A police officer, who was patrolling on a bicycle as usual, passed by, staring at the two.
They might have looked like an easy-going high school couple.
Then, it occurred to Jyuu.
What do couples usually do during this season?
They weren’t in that kind of relationship, but what if, hypothetically, they were?
The hot days didn’t seem to be ending soon, so maybe they’d go to the sea?
“Hey, have you ever been to the beach?”
“Yes. When I was still young, my family and I went there for sightseeing.”
“Only for sightseeing? Don’t people usually go there to swim?”
“You can do that at the pool. Besides, it was winter at the time, so just looking at the ocean was nice.”
Jyuu tried to imagine Ame in a swimsuit on a sandy beach, but he couldn’t.
For some reason, he could only picture her walking listlessly with a parasol.
“Have you ever been to the beach in summer?”
“I haven’t.”
“Only now did I realize that I’ve never gone there since I was a kid.”
“Is that so? I’m sure you’ll be fascinated by the white sea and blue sand.”
“No, that wasn’t what I was referring to—”
Maybe sunny weather, Ame, and ordinary resorts just didn’t mix.
Are there really teens out there who don’t know how to enjoy their youth?
At the very least, he didn’t think that was unfortunate.
After all, right now, I can say that I’m not unhappy.
***
After saying goodbye to Ame in front of his apartment, Jyuu listened to the conversation of the housewives nearby while waiting for the elevator. Judging from the use of words such as ‘Gouger’ and ‘murder’, it seemed that the case was the latest buzz.
One of the housewives lamented the incompetence of the police, saying that the only way to survive in a world like this was to join a religion, before showing some sort of flier. Even though solicitation was strictly prohibited inside the apartment, solicitations of new religions were persistent, frighteningly so.
That housewife may be one of those who’d fallen for it.
Like Ame said, no matter what she depended on, it was her own choice, so she should do as she pleased.
Thinking so, Jyuu got on the elevator and went up to the ninth floor. Upon unlocking the door and stepping inside, a woman who was grinning like a fool greeted him.
“Welcome home~!”
Benika, wearing an apron, smiled broadly at Jyuu.
“Jyuu, you’re late! Mom is worried!”
“...Did you finally decide to act like a parent for once?”
“I’m roleplaying as a loving mom.”
She twirled on the spot, but perhaps because Jyuu’s reaction wasn’t so good, Benika showed her usual bratty smile.
“What’s with that reaction? I thought you’d be happy.”
Quickly removing her apron and rolling it up, Benika fished out a cigarette out of her pocket and smoked it.
She was about to light it on fire when she suddenly recalled something.
“Nice timing. I was starting to feel hungry. Go make something.”
“If you have time to do some stupid roleplay, go make it yourself!”
“Just do it.”
Dismissing Jyuu’s objections, Benika quickly vanished into the bathroom. Apparently, she was going to take a bath while Jyuu prepared her dinner.
Looking away, Jyuu gave up. Saying anything to her would be useless. Last time he saw Benika, he was at the hospital during summer break.
Nevertheless, he didn’t know whether to be happy or sad at the fact that his mother, who was rarely at home, was home.
Begrudging the fact that he had to follow her orders, he decided to compromise for today. After all, he was hungry as well.
After washing his face, he went to the kitchen and prepared dinner right away. Jyuu heated up the leftover pot of curry, turned on the rice cooker, and took some lettuce and tomatoes from the fridge to make a simple salad. As the pot simmered, Jyuu turned on the TV, tuning in to the channel, but there weren’t any shows that look remotely interesting.
In the end, he tuned in to the program ‘From America! Shocking Incident <Super Special Feature>’ At least it was better than a quiz show.
Benika showed up when Jyuu was serving the cooked rice on a plate. Her body was only covered in a towel. She didn’t even blow dry her wet hair, opting to do so naturally. She had always been like that.
Droplets of water were still present on her skin, which seemed eerily smooth. Her face, free of make-up, looked even younger than usual. Most men would find her attractive—but to Jyuu, she was just a selfish woman. Sashaying around in only a bath towel seemed to be one of her bad habits.
Benika took out a can of beer from the fridge and took a sip. When she saw curry and salad laid out on the dining table, she scoffed.
“If you have any complaints, just don’t eat it.”
When Jyuu said that in advance, Benika wordlessly stuck out her palm. She seemed to be asking for a spoon. After receiving the spoon from Jyuu, Benika started eating without saying anything.
Jyuu also sat down and began his meal. On TV, experts were talking passionately about a new type of entertainment that had recently become popular in the United States.
“Are you still with that girl?”
“...That girl?”
Jyuu paused and shifted his gaze from the TV to Benika.
“Ochibana Ame.”
“So what?”
“Nothing. But I see, it’s still going on.”
“Just to be sure, she and I aren’t as close as you think.”
“Did you guys have sex yet?”
“...”
Ignoring Jyuu, who was at a loss for words, Benika reached out with her spoon still in her mouth, dug for the TV remote control, and switched to the news.
She looked sideways at the screen and mockingly said, “Even though you are young, you’re quite insipid.”
Without feeling like arguing, Jyuu silently resumed eating. When the plate was about half full of curry, Jyuu got up from his seat to refill his water. He returned with a glass of water and placed it on the table. Benika proceeded to drink it.
“Hey! That’s mine!”
“Shut up.”
Jyuu noticed that Benika, who was facing the TV, seemed irritated, which was uncharacteristic of her. Jyuu looked at the screen as well.
The newscaster was reading aloud about an incident that had continued over the past few years, in which children were kidnapped, had their eyes gouged out, and then released. The media zoomed in on the brutal technique of not taking a life, but depriving one of their vital organs. The case itself had been featured several times in magazines.
The culprit, who was still on the loose, was given the nickname ‘Gouger.’ Apparently, there was a new victim of the Gouger. The news didn’t really interest Jyuu.
He snatched the glass back from Benika’s hand and drank the remaining ice water. Benika was still watching the news. As someone who loved the thrills, Benika would enjoy watching videos of explosions and shootings, but she despised anything that involved children.
Jyuu left his seat again to refill the ice water. At that moment, he saw the words on the screen.
Or to be precise, a name he’d heard somewhere.
Jyuu snatched the remote control and turned up the volume on the TV.
The newscaster simply reiterated the facts without emotion.
The Gouger’s new victim—Kagami Sakura, six years old.
***
The next day during lunch break, Jyuu went to Ame’s supplementary class. Nobody at the school didn’t know of the notoriety of Jyuuzawa Jyuu. Almost all the students who remained in the classroom stared at him with disdain, but Jyuu didn’t care. He called out to Ame, who was sitting right in front of the teacher’s table, seemingly about to open her lunchbox.
“Hey, do you have some time?”
“Jyuu-sama...”
“I have something to talk about. Please come with me while we eat.”
Usually, Jyuu would eat by himself during lunch break, and spent the rest of it asleep. Ame was a little shocked at his sudden invitation, but there was no way she could refuse. She rewrapped her lunchbox in her handkerchief and followed Jyuu out of the classroom.
Thinking of somewhere they could relax, the two went to the rooftop. Normally, it’d be a crowded space, but today it was humid, the air was lukewarm, and the sky was cloudy, so there were only a few people having lunch on the rooftop. The two sat down with their backs against the wire fence.
“Did you make that bento?”
“No, this was prepared by Hikaru-chan.”
Apparently, Hikaru would prepare bento boxes for her sister and herself every day. Instead of eating leftovers from dinner, she’d wake up early and cook like the dutiful sister she was.
“Today’s main dish is fried chicken and boiled pumpkin. While chicken is nutritious, pumpkin is even healthier. Pumpkin has long been used as a source of Vitamin A, which strengthens blood vessels, skin, and mucous membranes, preventing arteriosclerosis and eye strain. It’s also effective in curing infectious diseases such as colds and pneumonia.”
Ame asked if he would like some, but Jyuu politely declined.
That isn’t important right now.
Jyuu opened the sports newspaper he’d brought on the way to school and showed Ame the article about The Gouger.
“Have you read this?”
“Nope.”
“Read it.”
Giving Ame the newspaper, Jyuu opened the bag of pastries he’d brought at the department store and took a bite. He usually made a bento box, but he didn’t feel like doing that today. Looking up at the overcast skies, Jyuu remembered the contents of the article and imagined the scene.
The incident happened the day before yesterday. The location was Akihabara Electric Town. While the family of three was enjoying shopping, the parents noticed that their only daughter, Sakura, was missing. They hurriedly searched the crowded city, but to no avail. Afterwards, the parents rushed to a police box and asked for advice. The search went on into the evening, assisted by the police officers, but the girl was still not found. In the end, the parents filed a formal search request.
When a young child disappears, it could be for many reasons.
She may be involved in some sort of accident, or may have fallen asleep somewhere due to fatigue from walking, and of course, there may also be a case of kidnapping. Although the police were swiftly dispatched, Sakura didn’t return that night.
The next day, the parents, who were at a loss, were contacted by the police. Sakura was found inside a telephone booth in a small park. A student, who’d been drinking all night, happened to stop by to use the public restroom and found her by chance.
Sakura was unconscious. Her face was wrapped in a white bandage, the area around her eyes blood red. The student sobered up and called the police right away.
Although her life wasn’t in danger, both of Sakura’s eyes were taken away. Based on the method, the police inspector concluded that the crime was committed by The Gouger.
Thus, Kagami Sakura was officially declared as The Gouger’s fourth victim.
Kagami Sakura, the six-year-old girl.
Jyuu could only assume that she was the girl Jyuu had met around noon the day before yesterday.
Jyuu suppressed his bad mood by downing a can of juice. Then, he asked Ame, who looked up after reading the article.
“What do you think?”
Knowing how foolish the question was didn’t stop Jyuu from asking.
“Most likely, it’s the little girl from before.”
“Wouldn’t that mean that after we parted ways—”
“It isn’t Jyuu-sama’s fault.”
“No, I should’ve stayed with her. I should’ve at least gone with her to the police box. Then, none of this would’ve happened...”
“It isn’t Jyuu-sama’s fault,” Ame calmly repeated.
“Please stop blaming yourself.”
“It never even occurred to me about what would happen if I left a small child alone in a crowded city. Instead, I left her behind and eventually forgot about her, preoccupied with my own stuff. I should’ve—"
“It isn’t Jyuu-sama’s fault.”
“—Then who's!? Whose fault is it!?”
When Jyuu slammed his fist against the wire fence, Ame fell silent.
After a long pause, Ame spoke, careful about her words.
“Jyuu-sama, don’t dwell on this matter. It’ll only make you uncomfortable.”
Jyuu didn’t like how gentle her tone was, as if she was kindly admonishing a bratty child.
“It’s pointless to think about it—is that what you are saying?”
“No, that isn’t—...”
“Enough. Sorry for taking you here.”
“Jyuu-sama—”
Ignoring Ame’s words, Jyuu stood up and left the rooftop. Descending the stairs, Jyuu squeezed the empty can of juice, recalling what Benika told him yesterday.
Appalled by the news on TV, Jyuu told everything to the nearby Benika. About how before the incident, he came across the lost Sakura, before parting ways with her.
He was so shocked, he writhed in silence. Even after he finished speaking, he couldn’t calm down.
Benika, who saw Jyuu pacing around the room, called out to him.
“Hey, Jyuu. Come here.”
Despite feeling skeptical, Jyuu approached the table. Benika asked while holding a cigarette in her mouth.
“Hey, how’s your scar?”
“Huh?”
“Before summer break, didn’t that girl, whose-her-name, stab you?”
“What is it, all of the sudden...”
“C’mon, just show me.”
Jyuu, who was still confused, lifted his clothes without thinking and revealed the scar on his lower abdomen.
The area where a large pink streak remained would never fully heal. While lighting a cigarette, Benika confirmed the location of the scar.
“There it is.”
Then, she jabbed him in his scar.
“Ack—!”
The tip of her finger pierced the scar. The pain was so great, it took his breath away, and Jyuu fell to his knees on the spot.
Although the wound had completely closed, it was the same injury that had caused him to be hospitalized. Even though he’d recovered to the point where he could carry out daily activities and exercise without any problems, there was no way he’d be okay with something like that.
“...What are you doing!?”
Despite being glowered at by her son, his mother was unfazed.
She got up from her chair and smoked the cigarette with relish.
“How stupid. You’re so stupid that it’s hilarious.”
“You...!”
“Did you honestly think that there was something you could do?”
“I...”
“Or that there was something you could’ve done?”
“So what if I do?”
Benika blew purple smoke at Jyuu’s face as he stood up while clutching his lower abdomen.
During that momentary distraction, she suddenly lunged at him. Benika unleashed a front kick, and her toes sank into his abdomen, sending him flying upwards about eight inches into the air, rendering him breathless once again.
Jyuu realized how mistaken he was for comparing Endo Madoka’s kick to that of Benika.
Benika still came out on top. The weight and sharpness were on a whole different level.
Resting his hands against the floor, Jyuu managed to prevent himself from falling forward, but he was struggling to breathe.
As she watched Jyuu gasping for air, Benika spoke quietly.
“Have you forgotten? What kind of idiotic thing did you do before summer break, and how did it end?”
Even if he wanted to forget, there was no way he could.
Every time he saw the scar, he thought of that incident. That sadness. That regret.
“Did you do anything?”
Jyuu couldn’t do anything.
“That’s what we call a lesson. Didn’t you learn anything from your mistakes?”
“I... can do... whatever I want...”
Jyuu, who could finally breathe properly, retorted even though he was slurring.
He wouldn’t lose to her.
“You’re so stupid.”
The mother argued with her unreasonable son.
“When it comes to someone like you, no matter what you do, you’ll only fail and fail again. And then, you’ll get fed up with life. That’s why, Jyuu. Just live normally. Don’t do anything unnecessary and behave. Stay within your means. Even if you were mistaken, don’t think that you might be able to do something about it. There’s nothing you can do about that girl, so just do your homework at home. Oh, you can also flirt with Ochibana Ame. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? It’s spring, after all.”
Jyuu silently took action. He attacked straight from the front, but Benika dodged the attack. She grabbed his arm and twisted it slightly, throwing Jyuu into the air. Jyuu groaned in shock as he landed on the dining table, destroying the dishes. Benika didn’t even bat an eye.
“Know that you are weak.”
Then, yawning loudly, Benika disappeared into the bedroom.
All Jyuu could do was watch her back while being covered in broken dishes and curry.
A warning from his mother.
A reaffirmation of his own powerlessness.
Before he knew it, the bell was ringing, signaling the end of lunch break.
As he threw his can in the trash, Jyuu pressed his hand against the scar on his lower abdomen and thought:
Benika and Ame are both smart. And I guess I’m an idiot.
I’m an idiot for feeling responsible and thinking that there’s something I can do about it.
I’m an idiot for concerning myself with such things.
Well, I’m an idiot, anyway.
“Dammit—!”
When Jyuu kicked the trash can away, a nearby female student ran past, looking frightened.
***
Out of boredom, Jyuu ditched school, went to the station, and took the train to Akihabara. Since it was mid-afternoon on a weekday, there wasn’t a huge crowd. Jyuu remembered the route he’d walked that day as he proceeded.
Sakura was kidnapped after they went their separate ways, and lost her eyes as a result.
Merely thinking about that made his entire body boil with fury. At the same time, he was also sad.
Cause and effect. Good deeds would be repaid with good deeds, while bad deeds would be repaid with bad deeds.
That’s just a lie.
Evil would befall someone even when they had done nothing. At the same time, those who had committed evil wouldn’t necessarily be met with the same end.
The term ‘divine punishment’ itself was invented by humans. A delusion created by people who didn’t have the power to stand up against unreasonable evil.
Jyuu stopped once and closed his eyes, trying to rein in his raging emotions.
His vision was shrouded in complete darkness. Only then did he register them. The violent sound of a running car. All kinds of music playing from the stores. The sound of people walking by and stepping on the asphalt. Their chattering voices.
A vortex of sounds.
What was initially discernible gradually became cloudy.
The way he perceived the smell of the air, which he didn’t normally consider, changed.
The blend of car exhaust and humidity made Jyuu feel sick to his stomach.
He took a step forward. He didn’t expect the vibrations transmitted from the soles of his feet. The craggy feel of the asphalt made him uneasy. He moved forward slowly. His heart beat faster as each step required more concentration.
After confirming that there was a turning point about three meters ahead, he started walking, but he could no longer tell the distance. He reached out to the side, but the wall that should’ve been nearby was nowhere within reach. He thought he was walking straight, only to realize he was veering off course.
How much adjustment does it require?
He didn’t even know how many steps he’d taken, or the passage of time.
His breathing became ragged due to anxiety, and when he suddenly bumped into a passerby in front of him, he gave up and opened his eyes.
The man with a paper bag in his hand looked disdainfully at Jyuu, then started walking away.
As he watched the man absentmindedly, Jyuu took a deep breath.
That girl will have to live in that kind of world from now on.
It was the same world as Jyuu, but different.
The world could easily go downhill when you could no longer see.
It’s all Gouger's fault.
He didn’t know who he was or what his goal was, but Jyuu couldn’t bear the fact that such a person existed, or forgive it.
But what can I do now?
He didn’t know yet.
Nevertheless, someone who understood—someone who might have understood existed.
I’m sure that person will understand.
He glanced at the clock.
Class should’ve ended already.
Jyuu decided to go to Ame’s house.
A certain incident happened before the summer break. A tragedy that involved his classmates, Fujishima Kanako and Satsuki Miya. Because of Ame, the incident that Jyuu otherwise couldn’t resolve was somehow sorted out.
She even saved his life in the process.
Her thoughts and her ability to take initiatives were reliable.
At least, Ame should be able to achieve better results than if he were to think and act alone.
Despite what happened this afternoon, considering Ochibana Ame, she’d surely comply if he asked her.
With that in mind, Jyuu went on his way, relying on his memory from last time. It would be his second visit. Last time, he was with her, but now he was on his own.
Just as Ame’s house came into view, Jyuu noticed someone standing in front of the gate. An unfamiliar man was ringing the bell in front of the gate. After a while, the man passed through the gate.
As if to greet the man, the front door opened and someone came out.
It was Ame.
Jyuu saw Ame exchanging words with a man. Then, he heard laughter—it was the man’s. After that, Ame said something. The two chatted for a while at the front door, then disappeared into the house.
Jyuu didn’t know how to accept that fact.
Apparently, there was a man who saw Ochibana Ame as a woman.
Not only that, Ame also let that man into the house.
Jyuu was taken aback by how close they were, seeing that the man even came to her house.
Jyuu shrugged. It wasn’t like he was the only one who was invited to her house.
His desire to ask Ame for help suddenly disappeared.
If I were to visit her house right now, wouldn't it be as if I were interfering with their relationship?
As if he’d do that.
Ame had her own world and he had no intention of interfering with it.
Besides, even if Ame was dating someone, it didn’t really matter to him.
Until now, Jyuu had never seen that side of Ame, or maybe he just didn’t notice.
Ame could do whatever she wanted.
They weren’t even dating. To begin with, could they even be called friends? Their relationship was just bizarre.
‘An everlasting bond from the previous lives that persevered to this day.’
Who’d believe that kind of explanation?
His feet naturally veered away from the spot, and as he looked at Ame’s house from a nearby corner, he felt ashamed of himself.
Before he knew it, he’d accepted the unnatural as natural. He felt ashamed of himself for taking it for granted.
Why was I so full of myself?
Why did I think that she’d willingly help me?
Jyuu stared at her house, wondering when she’d come out while imagining what the two of them were doing inside. What was he? A stalker?
“...I’m really an idiot.”
Just as Jyuu was about to leave, he heard the door open, followed by the sound of footsteps.
...No way.
When he turned around, thinking that Ame had spotted him, he saw her younger sister standing in front of the gate. Hikaru eyed Jyuu suspiciously. She removed the large sports bag off her shoulders and approached him.
“Pervert! I’ll call the police!”
“No, I...”
“What? Did you just happen to be passing by and just happened to stop and watch someone’s house?”
“...Yeah,” Jyuu averted his gaze.
Hikaru stared at Jyuu in astonishment, and said casually.
“Kusaka-san and Onee-chan seem to be having a lot of fun.”
Is Kusaka that man’s name?
Seeing Jyuu’s reaction, Hikaru stared at him with disgust.
“Gross. You’re really a nuisance. How long have you been there?”
“Just for a bit.”
“Lies. You saw Kusaka-san come into my house, right? Kusaka-san came about 30 minutes ago.”
Jyuu glanced at his watch and realized that Hikaru was on the mark.
Apparently, he was stuck there for much longer than he’d realized.
“Stalker.”
Jyuu couldn’t even say anything back.
“...Kusaka, what kind of guy is he?”
He blurted that question instead. A lame question—it was just the worst.
“None of your business.”
That’s true.
“I’ll let you off, but never show yourself again.”
Hikaru lightly waved her sports bag to drive him away.
“I—...”
“Go away.”
Hikaru pushed Jyuu away with her hand. Her gaze was cold.
Jyuu turned to look at her, but he didn’t know what to say. However, he knew that he shouldn’t be there. Having nothing more to say, he turned to leave. Hikaru was staring at him the entire time.
***
Even after sunset, Jyuu wandered around town, not feeling like going home.
In a state of confusion, he kept walking back and forth on the same path, entering arcades for no reason. A few times, he was approached by sales, but he paid them no heed.
Before he knew it, it was already past midnight. He must’ve covered quite some distance by foot, but he wasn’t tired at all. On the contrary, he felt like he could keep walking endlessly. It was as if his mind and body were disconnected. He didn’t even know how to organize his thoughts.
Taking a deep breath, Jyuu contemplated again as he resumed his walk.
Isn’t it better to be alone? It’s a mistake to rely on her in the first place.
Thinking about it, Ame should’ve known about Kagami Sakura. If it were her, she’d have seen it on TV or online news. Although she didn’t read the sports newspaper articles, she knew the news itself. Yet, she remained nonchalant.
That was the kind of girl Ochibana Ame was. That was her style. She was completely different from Jyuuzawa Jyuu.
Therefore, it was ridiculous for him to ask her for her cooperation and understanding.
Why should he rely on others? Think about it himself. Do it himself.
Once he made that decision, he felt somewhat better.
Jyuu suddenly felt hungry and was reminded that he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch.
Shall I eat somewhere and then go home?
As Jyuu looked around to see if there was any family restaurant nearby, he sensed a disturbing presence nearby.
Several men were surrounding someone.
The night was sweltering that day, and the heat probably roused some people.
Apparently, the one who was surrounded by the three nasty-looking men was a girl.
Jyuu could hear the girl with a white ribbon tied to her hair turning them down. The men let out a crude cackle and attempted to drag the girl into a nearby parked car.
What a bunch of unlucky guys.
Jyuu ran towards them.
He was feeling agitated at the moment, and was looking for a place to vent his frustration.
Such a great opportunity.
Opponents that he wouldn’t regret beating up.
Jyuu aimed at one of the men and delivered a flying kick from behind, sending him flying into the wall, knocking him unconscious.
“What the hell—!?”
One of the men screamed at Jyuu, who suddenly intruded on them. The men appeared to be in their twenties.
They were older than Jyuu. One of them had a tattoo on his shoulder, while the other had a nose piercing. Both of them had bloodshot eyes and were raring to go. They must be hooked on something.
“I’ll kill you if you get in my way, Brat—”
However, no matter how much they taunted him, Jyuu was undaunted.
Words would be wasted on them, so Jyuu sprang into action.
With a feathery step, he avoided the punch of the tattooed man who was aiming straight for his face. Despite his hunger, his body felt light. Jyuu closed in and swung his fist, breaking the man’s nose. As his opponent groaned, Jyuu yanked his hair with his left hand and punched him with his right. He punched the man again, and then some more. One down.
Slipping past the man who approached him from behind, Jyuu tackled him from the shoulder. Despite their similar physiques, Jyuu had better balance and ability to take full advantage of his skills. When the opponent had staggered, stepping forcefully into the ground, he utilized his hip rotation to deliver a punch at the opponent’s nose.
Soon, he could feel the sensation of crushing the nasal bone. Even if the pain was dulled by drugs, breathing would become difficult. It was fatal in a fight.
The first man Jyuu had kicked got up, shook his head, and lunged at him from behind, but Jyuu easily dodged it and hit him in the neck as they passed each other.
Struck with a devastating blow, the man crashed face first into the ground and passed out.
The remaining two who saw that walked away from Jyuu with frightened expression.
Jyuu inevitably became strong because of his radical interaction with Benika.
After hearing the commotion, a policeman could be seen running in the distance. Jyuu rushed to leave the place. A warm breeze hit his cheeks, emphasizing the discomfort of the sweat he’d shed.
—What an idiot I am.
How worthless.
The desperation. The emotional outburst. The distraction—
—They all suck.
He turned around and saw that the police weren’t following him. Someone else did. The girl with white ribbon, who was previously entangled with those men.
“You’re so awesome, Jyuuzawa-kun. You’re so strong, just like a prince.”
The girl who was giving him a resounding applause was none other than Ame’s friend.
“You...”
“It is I, Yukihime.”
Jyuu had a feeling that he’d seen that white ribbon somewhere. What a coincidence. Yukihime was in uniform and holding her shoulder.
“Thank you for getting involved earlier. That was cool. I was in a bit of trouble, so you really helped me out. Good grief...”
Yukihime wiped her seat with a handkerchief.
Even though Jyuu fled the scene at full speed, she managed to catch up with him. Her leg strength must be amazing.
—Anyway.
“What are you doing at this hour?”
“I could ask you the same, Jyuu-kun! You’re a bad boy for playing around at night!”
“So what, I’m a delinquent anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”
“I see, like rock and roll?”
Yukihime seemed impressed for some reason.
“I read up to volume 53.”
“Huh?”
“—‘Otome Suikoden (The Water Margin of Maiden), by Mochizuki Anko. The one currently being serialized in Monthly Romance Manga.”
“...”
“When I finally found a manga café that had all 53 volumes, I was like, ‘I have to read them!’ And that’s what I did. I went straight to that place from school and before I knew it, it was already late at night...”
Indeed, there were neon lights from 24-hour manga cafes shining in that area. Jyuu had never used it before, but Yukihime probably stopped by the store on her way home from school to read manga.
However, it was currently 1:30 AM. Yukihime was immersed in manga for quite some time.
As if to show that, Yukihime yawned heavily.
“When two-third of my brain was still in the fantasy world, and I was feeling a little fuzzy, I came across those guys. They said things like, ‘The world is boring.’ Even though they were the ones who were boring.”
Yukihime burst out laughing for some reason.
“Anyway, you saved me, Jyuuzawa-kun.”
Yukihime asked Jyuu to shake her hand, but Jyuu ignored her request.
“Go home.”
“I’m hungry. Would you like to eat somewhere?”
“Don’t you have school tomorrow?”
“I’ll treat you to something to thank you for saving me.”
“Just go home and sleep.”
“Oh, how about that place over there?”
While pointing to a fast-food chain nearby, Yukihime forcibly took Jyuu’s hand and started walking.
What a selfish woman.
Despite thinking that, Jyuu didn’t put up much resistance because he was also tired.
***
Since it was late at night, the store was deserted.
Most of the customers were either couples that often got intimate with each other, as well as office workers and students who were killing time until the last train.
Jyuu and Yukihime sat at the table at the back of the second floor. Jyuu ordered a set of ordinary hamburgers, while Yukihime ordered a set of hot cakes. As for the payment, Yukihime insisted on footing the bill no matter what, and Jyuu didn’t object.
Jyuu shrugged as he inserted a straw into his Oolong Tea and sipped it.
Out of sheer coincidence, Jyuu met Yukihime in such a place at such a time. Although he wasn’t very happy about it, he did want to talk to someone.
“—Anyway, you’re strong, Jyuuzawa-kun. You’re also good at it. Rather than doing damage, you aimed to destroy your opponent’s will to fight, and that’s why you crushed his nose first. That’s quite a skill.”
How did you manage to catch all that despite being in that situation?
“Do you always wander around town until this hour?”
“I don’t do any club activities like Endo, and I don’t have any games that I’m particularly into lately, so I’ve been bored. I’m just living my shitty life carefreely.”
Yukihime was so easygoing, it didn’t seem like she was particularly dissatisfied with herself. One could say that she was blissfully sloven. The way she held the straw in her mouth and slurped the strawberry juice looked childish.
“Jyuuzawa-kun, did you get into a fight with Ame?”
“...What makes you think that?”
Jyuu feigned calm when he was actually shocked.
“You look more glum than when I last met you, so I thought something must’ve happened. Was I correct?”
“None of your business.”
“I know.”
Yukihime easily backed down and sipped her strawberry juice with gusto.
Due to the quiet interior of the store and the fact that there were few customers, the place seemed desolate. The fluorescent lights inside the store weakly warded off the darkness of the night outside the window.
“Hey, say something. Otherwise, it’s boring.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“What was your first time like?”
“I’ll hit you.”
“Ah, so you haven’t done it yet? Then how about doing it with me? I’m looking forward to it!”
Jyuu averted his gaze from Yukihime, who was laughing, and looked at the other table, where this morning’s sports newspaper had been discarded. Jyuu turned away and stared outside the window. Then, he picked up the oolong tea and took a sip.
It felt more bitter than before.
That little girl also remarked that it was bitter.
The sky was pitch-black, while the moon was nowhere to be seen. As he gazed at it, he recalled many things.
The darkness of the night was like a movie screen.
The things in his heart flashed and then waned one after another. About Kagami Sakura. About Ochibana Ame. What Benika said. What Hikaru said. About the man Ame was seeing.
“Kirishima, do you know the Gouger?”
“I know, but please call me Yukihime.”
The fact that he even bothered to ask made Jyuu realize that he was probably more depressed than he thought. Perhaps, he’d become soft.
Jyuu filled Yukihime in on the story so far. Earlier on the same day he met Yukihime and Endo, he’d encountered a lost girl. Afterwards, he left her. Soon, she was kidnapped by the Gouger and was deprived of her sight. Yukihime stopped eating the hot cake and listened intently.
Then, she spoke.
“Do you regret it?”
“...Yeah.”
Yukihime folded her arms and looked up at the ceiling.
“Hmm, I don’t really understand. Why, though? It has nothing to do with Jyuuzawa-kun at all.”
“If I had stayed with her, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Did that girl, Sakura-chan, ask you to stay with her?”
“No, I don’t think so...”
“Then that’s that. That’s what we call fate. Just thinking about it is a waste of time.”
Seeing Jyuu at a loss for words, Yukihime approached him with a huff and a smile.
“Hey, rather than that, why don’t we go have some fun? I live alone, so you don’t have to worry about my parents. Do you want to come to my house? It’s not very big, but there are lots of games and manga. Or do you want to do something else? Oh no, what kind of perverted thoughts were you having just now? We can’t. Our relationship isn’t at that stage yet. If you do it without taking the necessary steps, the atmosphere will be ruined. Ideally, it should be something that makes you feel relieved even when you remember it later. Anyway, let’s have fun. I don’t mind skipping school tomorrow. So, what do you think?”
Jyuu was bummed.
She’s hopeless. Why did I talk to her? It sucks.
No longer feeling hungry, Jyuu left his hamburger untouched and left his seat without saying a word.
“Wait, Jyuuzawa.”
Jyuu halted as he was about to head towards the stairs.
Yukihime’s tone had changed. When he turned around, he saw a plastic knife in her left hand. It probably came with the hot cakes.
“Don’t be so hasty. Even if you rush, you’ll only end up at the same destination in life. The only destination you and I can arrive at. Why don’t we take our time?”
Yukihime’s tone exuded a sense of dignity. Her cheerfulness just a moment ago was completely replaced by coldness, and even the atmosphere around her became tense.
A sense of tension as if he were in the middle of facing someone in a state of raw vulnerability.
“Why don’t you sit? We’re not done here.”
“You...”
“Sit.”
The overwhelming force made Jyuu reluctantly return to his seat.
Yukihime spoke casually while twirling the plastic knife.
“I know knives will do the trick. They help sharpen your mind.”
While Ame had likened Yukihime to a cat, who’d have thought that she’d change that much.
He could only think that some kind of switch had been flipped.
“I have nothing more to say to you.”
“There’s still something I want to ask you.”
Yukihime gracefully and dexterously sliced her hot cakes. She stabbed one with a fork, brought it to her mouth, and savored it quietly. Her behavior seemed much more mature than before.
“I understand that you regret it, so do you want me to comfort you?”
“Why would I?”
“Then, how would you quell that frustration? By catching The Gouger?”
“That’s...”
That’s it. That’s the only option.
If Jyuu could catch The Gouger, wouldn’t that serve as some kind of atonement for Sakura?
“...I’m going to catch The Gouger.”
“Are you going to solve this case?”
“Yes.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
Yukihime simply shrugged it off.
“You’re just an amateur.”
“I know that. Still, I...”
“Let’s check.”
Yukihime stared straight into his eyes. Her eyes held a strange force, compelling him to look back at her.
“Do you refuse to forgive The Gouger?”
“I will never forgive them.”
“Even though the victim is unrelated to you?”
“I won’t say ‘unrelated’, per se.”
As if trying to discern Jyuu’s true intentions, Yukihime narrowed her eyes. She was implying that she wouldn’t tolerate lies or deception. 30 seconds had passed since Jyuu began to endure the intimidation.
He could feel that Yukihime’s gaze had softened a bit.
“...How fascinating. You’re really angry. You’re not just saying it to look good, you’re serious.”
Bringing the hot cake to her mouth, Yukihime chewed it quietly.
Her movements made minimal noise, yet more mechanical than elegant.
“There are two kinds of people: those who divide everybody, and those who don’t. I’m the former. I have two categories for people: they are either people I like, or people I don’t care about. Based on my category, you probably classify as a relatively likeable person, which is unusual. I don’t dislike idiots who try to find the culprit even though they’re amateurs. The world is never kind to idiots, and that’s precisely why I don’t dislike such people.”
“I didn’t ask about your views on humanity.”
“I know, it’s just idle talk. Been a while since I spoke this much.”
Yukihime stopped eating her hot cake and spoke.
“—Jyuuzawa, let me ask you again. Are you sure you want to do it?”
“Yes.”
“Even if there’s almost no chance of success?”
“What is my chance like?”
Jyuu was taken aback by the sudden question, but Yukihime ignored him and resumed her meal.
“Idiots aren’t too bad sometimes.”
“...Sorry, but I’m good.”
“Why?”
“For a variety of reasons, I have a strong tolerance for love calls from women.”
Yukihime froze and her eyes went wide. Apparently, what Jyuu said came off as quite a shock to her.
“...I see, I guess that’s how it might come across to you, or maybe that’s the truth. I can’t deny the possibility of such factors being mixed in unconsciously. Then, all the more reason not to give up on this one. A new option of some kind?”
As Yukihime muttered to no one in particular, her head above the clouds, Jyuu took away her knife.
As soon as that happened, Yukihime’s personality suddenly did a one-eighty.
“G-give it back—! Ah—!”
Jyuu held the knife away from her as she tried to reach for it.
As expected, seeing Yukihime with a knife was too nerve-wracking, even for Jyuu.
On the contrary, the current Yukihime was so much easier to deal with.
“Without that, I can’t eat the hot cake! I can’t eat, I can’t eat...”
Yukihime protested, flailing around.
“It’s already cut. Besides, you have a fork.”
“Jyuuzawa0kun, can you please help me eat? I can put up with you feeding me.”
“Not a chance.”
“God Almighty, there’s a demon over here. A blond demon. Exact divine retribution upon him—let him suffer constipation for ten days!”
“Don’t make strange wishes!”
He felt really out of character. When he was with Yukihime, it was as if his mental age took a dip. Moreover, there was that change just now.
He couldn’t let his guard down in the slightest.
Yukihime’s mood improved when Jyuu offered her his hamburger, which she ate with gusto. Seeing her eat like a child, smearing sauce all over her mouth, Jyuu became less wary.
Stirring the ice with a straw, Jyuu drank the slightly diluted oolong tea.
“Anyway, I’ll do it myself. I don’t need help.”
“Are you that impatient?”
“Huh?”
“Right now, you’re prioritizing your foolish pride and ignoring efficiency.”
She was a woman who could broach difficult subjects with ease, all the while maintaining a smile on her face, making her look more convincing.
“...What are you planning?”
“As I said earlier, I have a lot of free time. At this rate, I’ll end up writing a romance novel about an incestuous affair between a pair of handsome brothers. The beautiful younger sister will join in the end. Oh, and their mother too. Want to read it?”
“Not a chance.”
“Then help me to prevent that from happening.”
Yukihime grinned while enjoying her hamburger. When Jyuu pointed out that there was ketchup on the corner of her mouth, Yukihime bashfully licked it off with the tip of her tongue, before smiling again.
Seeing her like that made it somewhat difficult to believe that they were around the same age.
How serious is she about this? I feel like I can’t really trust her.
“Answer me honestly, what is your real goal?”
“Hm...”
Yukihime carefully folded the wrapper of the hamburger she finished eating, putting it on the tray.
“It’s not that big of a goal. I just thought that I wanted to get along with you. Also, this isn’t just because you’re important to Ame, but also because of my, Kirishima Yukihime, personal feelings. That’s why I’m cooperating with you.”
Yukihime said, stealing a glance at him from below as if confessing her mischief.
“I think this is a chance. A great chance to get closer once and for all. Two people who quickly become closer through the investigation of a case. It’s something you often see in dramas.”
“...”
With a perplexed look on his face, Jyuu drank the rest of the oolong tea. Since the ice had melted, it mostly tasted like water.
“...Why would you want to get along with me?”
“No idea.”
“...”
“I honestly don’t know. Better than having ulterior motive, right?”
Jyuu scratched his head and looked at his watch, only to find that it was almost 2:00 AM. He was most likely going to feel tired at school tomorrow. Then, Jyuu turned to look at Yukihime once again.
“No, I’ll do it myself after all.”
“But what exactly will you do? Where will you investigate? How do you obtain information? By simply looking at magazines and newspapers?”
He was hit where it hurt.
That’s exactly right.
As was the case before the summer breaks, moving aimlessly would only be a waste of time.
“I think I can be of help to you.”
“It’s not a woman’s place to appear.”
“Wow, that’s an old-fashioned statement.”
“It’s dangerous. It’s not a game.”
“That’s okay. I’m pretty strong.”
Jyuu pondered about it a bit.
Once he caught the Gouger in the crime scene, then what?
Was the culprit only one? What if there were two or more people? What if it was an organization?
What could he possibly do?
Teaming up with someone sounded like a sensible thing to do, just in case.
A woman with some wisdom and skill might not be the best option, but it might be safer than going alone.
“Well, it’s already late today, so why don’t we start the full-scale investigation tomorrow?”
“Huh?”
“Where shall we meet?”
“Don’t decide on your own!”
“Then should I give you more time to think?”
“That’s right.”
“You aren’t even going to think about it because you’re just wondering.”
Another sore subject. While Jyuu remained silent, Yukihime went on.
“Leave the information gathering to me. We should be able to do something. Actually, that’s where it gets difficult. You’ll have to walk all the time. Well, just think of it as a diet. ...Diet by playing detective. It’s groundbreaking.”
Jyuu inwardly clicked his tongue, and though he was ashamed for having been caught up in Yukihime’s pace, he had to admit that she was right.
He initially refused her help because of his foolish pride.
However, there were parts that couldn’t be conceded.
“There is a condition.”
“What is it?”
“Do not speak a word to her.”
Keep it a secret from Ame—such was the condition.
“Did you really get into a fight with Ame?”
“It’s none of your business.”
—That was also because of his foolish pride.
“...Hmm, alright. Then, it has been decided—for now, we start with the investigation!”
Yukihime clasped her hands together.
“I accept the condition! But isn’t keeping Ame in the dark too harsh? If she asked me, how would I answer?”
“That’s...”
Jyuu thought for a moment, and came up with a method. Simple, but should work nonetheless.
After promising to meet the next day, the two went their separate ways.
Very grateful for the chapter!
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